Group & Second Round Notes

I have never had less time to take in the World Cup since before 1994. It’s depressing to think that out of 54 matches, I’ve so far only managed to watch the majority of only a handful of games. So, whereas I would normally be a big enough dork to try and comment on every match, I’m reduced to only the following notes and detritus:

• Mental note: Next World Cup, syncronize vacation time with the group phase of the tournament…
• The Guardian refers to the Portugal vs. Holland match as the “Battle of Nuremberg”. It may be the only good call to emerge from that match.
• Best side that I would have liked to see through to the Quarter-Finals: Mexico. I think they’ve finally showed that they now have the ability play away from their home stadium and still be able to compete with the best in the world.
• Biggest Upset: France taking out Spain 3-1 in the second round. I am just so sick of Zidane and Vierra’s golden generation, and was thouroughly hoping that the French would continue to eat the humble pie served to them at their last World Cup and European Championship appearances.
• Player I’d most like to see in a Manchester United shirt: I love Roma so I don’t want him to leave, but after witnessing Daniele De Rossi’s elbow cranking Brian McBride across the face, can anyone deny De Rossi would be the perfect replacement for the departed Roy Keane?
• Worst individual performance: Graham Poll . The sole English referee managed to besmirch match officials throughout his homeland by awarding three yellow cards to Croatia’s Josip Simunic.
• Best Ongoing Drama: The fickle love-affair shared between Brazillian fans and Ronaldo, the pudgy striker whose second round resurgence continues to inspire dumpy-looking men everywhere.
• Best Goal: So far, I would vote for Maxi Rodríguez’s stunning, game-winning volley in the final minutes of Argentina’s second round match against Mexico.

You’re a dork Bruce

Peter King, an American football journalist, perfectly hits the nail on Bruce Arena’s head:

I don’t know Bruce Arena, but he seems like a non-communicative dork to me.

I would also add that Arena has that unique combination of smug demeanour and whiny voice that offers a warrant for someone to get the crapped kicked out of him in school.

By the way, the USA’s completely uninspired showings in this tournament once again demonstrates that FIFA rankings mean absolutely nothing.

Don’t cry for him Argentina.

There are lots of things to like about the newArgentina:

1. A less defensive style of play that finally puts the spotlight on the country’s fleet footed attackers, rather than on plodding, over-hyped midfielders.
2. No Seba’ Veron loitering around in midfield (okay, so this is the same as 1, but finally abandoing the Veron - Simeone era is probably the best thing to happen to Argentina).
3. They have a coach named Pekerman.

Yet, the one unfortunate side effect of Argentina’s progress is that we are forced to watch more shots of the bloated one himself:: Diego Maradona. I understand Maradona’s lofty position within the pantheon of Argentinian footballers, but I wish non-Argentines would stop treating him like the second coming. Since winning the World Cup, he has done nothing but tarnish football with his doping and endless stream health destorying cocaine binges. Maradona is a disgusting farce that should now be simply ignored.

Peter Crouch? Peter Crouch!

I don’t care if England go onto win the cup, Peter Crouch’s inclusion in the English starting XI is just so damn garrish and odd that I will never understand it. Is someone out there seriously going to be able to argue that Crouch represents one of English Football’s preimminent attacking threats? I understand the need for a target man, but I still have no clue why Sven would choose to take Crouch (or Walcott) to Germany and leave Jermain Defoe sitting at home. So now, with Michael Owen crocked, England are left with a player moulded in the likeness of Manute Bol to shoulder the goal scoring burden for the team… Good grief. I genuinely worry that a hard slide tackle from the likes of Vierra or Gattuso would rip the poor boy in two.

Peter Crouch!

Oi.