So the CBC reports that Canadian legislators are distressed by a new American regulation that would add two more months of Daylight Savings Time to US clocks:

The American change, due to take effect this autumn if President George W. Bush signs it into law, could cause headaches for Canadians during March and November, the two months the two countries would be out of sync.

…

The last time the United States and Canada observed different winter time systems was during the 1974-75 oil crisis. The U.S. did not turn its clocks back at all that fall in an attempt to conserve energy.

As a result, airline schedules involving flights from south of the border were occasionally one hour off, television schedules were mixed up and business associates regularly missed each other’s phone calls.

Frankly, its ridiculous that this is even a matter of contention for Canada. If the US wants to make this change, Canada will have no choice but to follow. We could theoretically not follow the new time regulations, but if put into practice, such a move would be trade suicide. It would be akin to a child trying to countermand the authority of a parent by trying to starve himself to death. Canada can’t avoid following the USA’s regulations: America is our daddy.

Seriously Canada, stop pretending you’re anything other than America’s prison bitch. Canada and the US may be trading partners, but only losers with “Made in Canada” tatoos cannot see that the great white north will always eventually submit to America when trade is affected. Even debating the possibility of falling out of sync with the US just draws more attention to how pointless your own legislation is. In fact, such fleeting thoughts about asserting your own soverignty just come across as pretentious: everybody knows you have no ability to deviate from American policy.

So get ready for some more ‘daylight’ Canada. Maybe you’ll even get to see some of it after you’re done bending over.