Dic·tion·ar·y

Simulation

1. A politically correct term employed by FIFA to describe the unsportsmanlike act of “taking a dive.” Punishable with a yellow card and round of jeers from the opposition’s supporters.
2. The reason cited for sending off Italy’s Francesco Totti during a second round match in World Cup 2002. Unfortunately, controversial referee Byron Moreno got it wrong: Totti was fouled and the second yellow given against him was a woeful injustice. Of course, that’s not to say that some people may still be quite bitter about that call…

See also under: Robert Pires, Pavel Nedved and Luis Figo.

sim·u·la·tion
Etymology: Offered up by FIFA prior to the 2002 World Cup, presumably to gloss over the inevitable controversy surrounding football’s darkest art.

Bushwhacked

# The act of being hoodwinked by an unelected president. # To find yourself the unwitting participant to an administration that has begun killing in your name. # An occasion where due process has been savaged by American Bushmen. 'bush·hwakt Etymology: Perhaps a politicized allusion to an absurd wrestling tag-team from Australia.

Michael Bolton

1. To attempt an endeavour by relying purely upon blood-curdling effort rather than a practice of genuine talent.
2. A brute-force approach to art.
3. An act of sonic cruelty. Usually accompanied by a gruesome bulging of veins in the forehead and an amusing--were it not foremost so pitiful--necessity to employ a scraggly mullet as an elaborate combover.

mic·hael·bol·ton
Derived Forms: Michael Bolton, n. | Michael Boltonesque adj.
Etymology: Have you ever seen the music video to When a Man Loves a Woman?