Dic·tion·ar·y

Boxen

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 05:40:56 -0800

Geek-’l33t’-slang for referring to multiple computers.
Geek-‘l33t’-slang for referring to computing power.
Geek-‘l33t’-slang for referring to the collection of computers in your bedroom that suck up all your income and time, preventing you from moving out, getting laid and not being an exceptional loser.

Rishathra

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 08:32:17 -0800

Interspecies copulation.
Larry Niven’s idea of an intergalactic handshake.

Weather Porn

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 20:25:45 -0800

Reports which exploit the tragedy and spectacle of natural disasters in order to tittilate viewers and help establish an otherwise unexceptional journalist’s reputation as a compassionate and courageous danger seeking ace-reporter.

Culture Jammer

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:37:34 -0800

An activist who uses “existing mass media to comment on those very media themselves, using the original medium’s communication method.” — Wikipedia
A minor defacer and disparager of commercial symbols who thinks a little anarchism might help him get laid.

Nice Girl

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 11:12:47 -0800

An unmarried woman who is a virgin.
A term which Indian gossip queens withhold in character assessments in order to impugn the dignity of their rivals.

Daddy Gut

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 14:38:48 -0800

A bulge in a man’s lower belly which is caused by him pushing out his stomach to help distribute the weight of the child he’s holding.
A development along the abdomen of new fathers which causes their stomachs to appear permanently distended due to their lack of childbearing hips.
Divine retribution on behalf of mothers everywhere.

Irregardless

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 21:37:39 -0800

Not a real word. Expunge it from your vocabulary. Each use of it diminishes your IQ by 10 points.
A fantastic tool with which one can severely piss off grammarians.

Plausible Deniability

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 21:59:28 -0800

A process whereby one first abstracts the directness and origin of a command decision in an effort to deviously cover one’s ass.
A state where one has prevented one’s self from officially learning what one already knows in order to later retain the precious ability to plead ignorance.
Pulling a Nixon.
Pulling a Bush/Cheney
Pulling a Chretien/Martin.

Godwin's Law

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 23:19:50 -0800

A natural law of usenet that reads: As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one. — Wikipedia
The reason why even discussion threads about toothpaste end in tears.

Asymmetric warfare

Wed, 26 May 2004 14:28:45 -0800

When “two belligerents are so mismatched in their military capabilities or accustomed methods of engagement that the militarily diasadvantaged power must press its special advantages or effectively exploit its enemy’s particular weaknesses if they are to have any hope of prevailing.” —Wikipedia
Occurs whenever David attempts to best Goliath.
Occurs whenever you file taxes with your country’s federal revenue agency.

Regifter

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 23:54:06 -0800

An individual who accepts a gift a from one person and then, without the gifter’s knowledge, bestows that gift upon another person: Tim Whatley.
An entity that accepts a gift a from one person and then, without the gifter’s approval, bestows that gift upon another person: The Canada Revenue Agency.

Deliverance

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 10:52:02 -0800

The service of having your country shot to pieces under the presumption that such decimation should naturally command your gratitude.

Camping

Wed, 17 Mar 2004 23:53:59 -0800

A prolonged exposure to nature where urban norms would dictate one should partake of a shower, yet—and this is key—one still manages to abstain from washing under the pretense of “roughing it.”
An opportunity to justify horribly greasy meat dishes as the total sum of one’s diet, breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Note: if you bathe regularly and eat vegetables while on a camping-style excursion, then you are considerd to be SUVing it. This is the case regardless of whether or not you do happen to own a yuppie vehicle.

Simulation

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 23:21:56 -0800

A politically correct term employed by FIFA to describe the unsportsmanlike act of “taking a dive.” Punishable with a yellow card and round of jeers from the opposition’s supporters.
The reason cited for sending off Italy’s Francesco Totti during a second round match in World Cup 2002. Unfortunately, controversial referee Byron Moreno got it wrong: Totti was fouled and the second yellow given against him was a woeful injustice. Of course, that’s not to say that some people may still be quite bitter about that call…

See also under: Robert Pires, Pavel Nedved and Luis Figo.

Zebra

Sun, 22 Feb 2004 22:22:11 -0800

# Novelty animal that exists solely to save linguists from the embarrassment of failing to populate the final pages of their dictionaries. # An overweight man in overtight breeches who receives steady streams of abuse whenever he makes a call in the visiting team's favour.